I'm sure you've all read by now Mike's seemingly-facetious blog entry here.
You probably just skimmed over it, thinking it was innocent enough, but I saw through it, and the jig's up Mike, because I'm going to unveil your diabolical scheme right here, right now!
Diabolical Mike wrote:33. Converts CO2 to O2"
As anyone who knows their chemistry will tell you, CO2 converts to C+O2
So now you're wondering where the C went, right?
So did I, but when I opened up my test box, there was no soot, no graphite, and certainly no diamonds. So I started to wonder just what Mike could possibly mean.
Then it finally struck me - Mike is a diabolical evil genius. The "CO2 to O2" statement was a thinly veiled guise for his master plan because, like all evil geniuses, Mike had to surreptitiously reveal his plan in advance, in order to feel more superior.
Mike is using MikeOS to take away C+
Without which there will be no C++
And MikeOS, with its assembly-coded sneakiness, will be the only operating system left.
Bill Gates and Steve Jobszniac will watch in horror as their empires disappear overnight, leaving nothing but MikeOS.
Then Mike will unleash his final masterpiece - the Â£400 non-GPL'd Service Pack 1 - an optional upgrade, required by anyone who wants to continue to use their computer.
And Mike Will Rule The World
I bet you're all thinking this is just some paranoid delusion, but you're all wrong. It was all revealed to me by Alan Turing, who came to me in a vision, after I knocked my tin-foil helmet off, when I banged my head on the cupboard door.