Ben SV650 beaten by chav

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Postby GMorgan » Mon Feb 05, 2007 8:09 pm

Can you direct a chav to /dev/null or do you have to call rm -rf /home/chav/
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Postby Nigel » Mon Feb 05, 2007 8:30 pm

Rhakios wrote:Re: shifty_ben's sig. Are these chav drivers binary only, or open source? How would I get a chav working with Linux?

:)


I suspect they're binary-only - ie either foot flat on the accelerator pedal or the brake pedal and no in-between state.

Why would you want to get a chav working with Linux anyway? I thought that chavs didn't like work... :roll:
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Postby Rhakios » Mon Feb 05, 2007 8:34 pm

Nigel wrote:Why would you want to get a chav working with Linux anyway? I thought that chavs didn't like work... :roll:


For precisely that reason :twisted:
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Postby Gordon » Mon Feb 05, 2007 9:33 pm

Nigel: shame you sold the Kettle, I understand they are quite collectable and fetch a handsome price now.
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Postby towy71 » Mon Feb 05, 2007 10:49 pm

My only motorbike was a Francis Barnett 125 with a Villiers two stroke engine and a gear stick so you clutched with left hand and changed gear with your right, it was a bit smoky too and if I could get to 50mph I knew I was going downhill ;-)
happy days
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Postby shifty_ben » Mon Feb 05, 2007 10:52 pm

Battering them over the head with a laptop is always a good start. From a my experience of the few chavs I have employed getting a chav to work at all is a battle let alone with Linux :D
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Postby Nigel » Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:12 pm

Gordon wrote:Nigel: shame you sold the Kettle, I understand they are quite collectable and fetch a handsome price now.


Yeah, it was a great bike to ride... below 3000rpm it was as docile as any 250, above that it went like stink. It had great presence on the road, being rather on the large size and having that radiator across the front. Even the Cortina drivers tended to see it coming !

I'm trying very hard to resist the temptation to get another bike... I don't want to end up as another mid-life crisis statistic at the local casualty dept. I have to keep reminding myself how miserable it was commuting in the rain, and how crowded and even more badly maintained the roads have become in the last 20 years.
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Postby nordle » Tue Feb 06, 2007 12:22 am

Marrea wrote:
Gordon wrote:Two strokes? Smelly, oily beasts that usually sound like washing machines and have very little engine breaking,

The only two stroke I have ever owned was a KDE125, and the points you mention certainly applied, but I have to say it was far nippier than the XL125 Honda I had. Quite frankly, with the XL I think I could have got from A to B quicker on foot. :D
It eventually got nicked from my garage and that was the last I saw of it.


Utter ba$tards, I hate thieving scumbags!

The RD250 was only slightly less mad than the RD350, it's quite possible you wouldn't be around today :) They either:
a. Crashed.
b. Blew up.
c. Lost License.
d. Got stolen.

I luv 2-strokes, I luv the simplicity and the insanity, perfect combination.
Engine breaking is for lazy people. That was one thing I hated when first using a 4-stroke.
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Postby nordle » Tue Feb 06, 2007 12:25 am

Nigel wrote:
Gordon wrote:Two strokes? Smelly, oily beasts that usually sound like washing machines and have very little engine breaking


Not so sure about smelly & oily, and my Kettle (Suzuki GT750).


To quote wikipedia


Handling and braking would, by modern standards, be considered alarming.

:)
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Postby nordle » Tue Feb 06, 2007 12:38 am

Nigel wrote:I'm trying very hard to resist the temptation to get another bike... I don't want to end up as another mid-life crisis statistic at the local casualty dept. I have to keep reminding myself how miserable it was commuting in the rain, and how crowded and even more badly maintained the roads have become in the last 20 years.


Your average 600cc bike weighs half as much and has twice the horsepower compared to the kettle, although to be fair the breaks, suspension, tyres and chassis are a damn site better also so its possibly not such a big deal.

The roads on the other hand, are a complete mess! We have some GREAT roads in this area, proper biker heaven. We also have a lot of accidents, the roads are appalling now. Massive cracks, HUGE holes which you could fit in, road subsidence all over the place. And this is on the 60MPH sections! Not to mention, if you ride to avoid those, your bound to hit the sloppy use of overbanding and jutting out man hole covers.
I find it a struggle some days to keep a car on the black stuff pointing in the right direction!

Also, riding a long at 7:30 with -2c temps + -15c wind chill. Every limb is numb, can feel breaks/clutch/gear lever etc Ice built up on the helmet especially where your breath has frosen.
And then arriving into a hot office......ohh the pain!

And summer, sweating like a pig unless doing 90mph. The constant danger of wasps/bees flying down your jacket (happened to me, got stung 4 times from the neck down).

Or the morning drivers pulling out at T junctions. Oww the pain. "I just didn't see you"
"Yeah because its real hard to miss a big frickin yellow/white bike with its lights on, totally camouflaged"

And the police! Yes its my bike, no I dont have my documents, yes I will produce them at my local station within two weeks. And yes I'll see to getting the pipe quietened a bit.

Having said all that, nothing can beat it can it! Can't beat just hopping on and heading off down some random b road, just riding with the sun warming your back chasing your shadow into the distance.....
Frickin great!

(I stole that last line from a film :) )
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Postby shifty_ben » Tue Feb 06, 2007 10:52 am

Also, riding a long at 7:30 with -2c temps + -15c wind chill. Every limb is numb, can feel breaks/clutch/gear lever etc Ice built up on the helmet especially where your breath has frosen.
And then arriving into a hot office......ohh the pain!


Your telling me, I do it every morning! Having said that I have never ever wished I was in a car, the closest I have been is to think "Its almost a pity I don't prefer cars" but then I feel the torque of the engine as I pull away, and the air rushing past me and I think "nah".

Morning drivers are a pain, so I tend to leave a bit earlier than I actually need to to make sure that A) I don't run into traffic and b) trafic doesn't run into me!

"I just didn't see you"


Depending on the bike you are riding (i.e. colours, noise etc.) most insurance companies will now take that as an admission that you didn't look (or so I'm told). It's all thanks to a legal charity called Sorrymate.com they are bikers and lawyers so if you need a solicitor after the accident tell your insurance company you want them. The best bit is the fact that all their profits get donated back to bike related causes.

Wow that sounds like an advert, seriously though if you ever need them they are supposed to be really really good. You can guess where their name comes from.

And summer, sweating like a pig unless doing 90mph. The constant danger of wasps/bees flying down your jacket (happened to me, got stung 4 times from the neck down).


I've had them fly into my lid when I have had my visor up because of the sun (must clean it more regularly) must have amused the drivers about to see a biker stop quite quickly then try and remove a helmet as soothly as possible whilst the offending bug is perched on his nose :(
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Postby Marrea » Tue Feb 06, 2007 1:33 pm

nordle wrote:Utter ba$tards, I hate thieving scumbags!

I reckoned it was probably kids. It was stolen during the afternoon when both I and my husband were at work. There were three other far more desirable bikes in the garage at the same time, which weren't touched but they were locked and the XL125 wasn't - which is why I suspected kids. Serious thieves wouldn't have been defeated by a chain and padlock and would have made off with the more sensible machinery rather than a dull 125 Honda, even though the latter was easily accessible. All the same, it makes you hopping mad to think that you go out to work, save up to buy something and then some low life just walks off with it. :evil:

nordle wrote:I luv 2-strokes, I luv the simplicity and the insanity, perfect combination.
Engine breaking is for lazy people. That was one thing I hated when first using a 4-stroke.

Suppose a lot depends on what you start with first and therefore get used to. I started with a CB125 and once I passed my test* decided I would gradually move up the cc scale, which I did via the XS250, GSX400 and GS500, but I never really considered getting anything other than a four stroke. I only bought the KDE125 because there was a good condition second hand one going at a reasonable price, which the insurance money from the XL125 covered nicely.

* I started in the days when you could ride a 250cc as a learner, but thought it would be sensible nonetheless to begin with a 125cc.
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Postby Nigel » Tue Feb 06, 2007 1:46 pm

nordle wrote:Handling and braking would, by modern standards, be considered alarming.

:)


It was pretty alarming 20 years ago as well... until you got used to it. :shock:

Because of the long wheelbase & fat tyres it wasn't exactly keen on cranking over into bends. On the other hand, it was extremely stable on motorways (and in slow moving town traffic) and would have been a great tourer if it weren't for the measly 100 mile range (it averaged just over 30mpg !).
Mine had twin front disks, so braking wasn't too bad in the dry, but in the wet it was mostly down to the rear drum... :scream:
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Postby M-Saunders » Tue Feb 06, 2007 4:11 pm

GMorgan wrote:Can you direct a chav to /dev/null or do you have to call rm -rf /home/chav/


Even if you do that, you know how quickly they procreate. You'd have to also delete:

/home/kaylee
/home/paris
/home/reuben
/home/trixie_tinkerbell

Or just fdisk the whole lot and move to the Faroes.

M
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Postby M0PHP » Tue Feb 06, 2007 4:16 pm

Just send them all to jail... a chroot jail :lol:
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