After a fine meal of salad, burgers and pasta washed down with a bottle of £2.99 château de Co-op, the ladies I was dining with started to talk about their breasts. Fair enough, thought I, and allowed the conversation to wash over me, not having breasts of my own on which to discourse.
Imagine my surprise when the ladies agreed that breasts are rubbish! It turns out that when it rains and you're wearing a v-neck top, the exposed area gets cold; and, what's more, stays cold! How awful!
The fault for this was placed with breasts. Not rain, or v-neck tops, but breasts. A solution was proposed: "Umbrellas!", I hear you cry. No, not umbrellas, and not more sensible overgarments either. The ladies agreed that when they could afford it, they would get breast reductions, to avoid the future discomfort of getting wet in the rain.