Because my life is like a perpetual episode of Seinfeld, I ask you: What's the deal with toasters?
I mean, look at this. Here's the marvellous job done by my classy new Argos Cookworks toaster:
That's OK -- it's pretty dark and crunchy, just as I like it. But this is setting number four. There are nine settings. No sane person would want their toast much darker than this, so why are there nine settings?
(Oh, and before anyone mentions re-heating or defrosting, the machine has separate facilities for that. And a pull-out crumb tray. Not bad for six quid. But it doesn't answer the single most important question that humanity has ever faced.)